Revelation Two – The 3 Night Underworld Initiation: My first night back at the club and why it took me through a shamanic rebirth in the underworld.
Now we are going in. The moment you have all been waiting for. What happened when I re-entered the doors of the erotic underworld.
As I started writing this, a white injured bird appeared in front of my window. I stopped, picked it up, made sure it was okay, all while wearing my white Inanna Rosepetal Dress xD . I certainly did not plan that.
And I felt how the divine always communicates in the most unexpected ways.
For so long I believed I had to heal this part of me that we call the Dark Feminine, shunned and outcast. Instead of realizing that she is my power.
And here was spirit sending me a white bird to remind me that alignment is about following what feels right to the heart and womb, no matter what it looks like.
This is the path of the Priestess. I am here to break the boxes we have built around her expression.
Maybe the darkness is the true path of the light after all. 😉
So back to the moment.
The moment of what actually happens in the club. The question every woman is wild to know when I tell them I work as a stripper.
Emphasis on woman.
Why?
Because there is a hidden magical whore inside every woman, and she is older than shame.
And when a woman has awakened that frequency within her, a dormant dragon wakes up in anyone who crosses her.
The response is burning curiosity or repulsion, because it is too scary to tap into.
The women in my world are the curious cat type dragon mistresses. I am sure so are you, since you have been reading all the way until here.
My first night back in the club.
It was quiet. I like quieter nights. I am a projector and energetically sensitive, so fewer people means stronger focus, although I have been training myself to hold presence on busy nights too (All is a training ground for sovereignty if we so choose to).
I had a few shorter bookings until I received a one hour booking. That felt huge for a first night after ten years, in a club I had never worked in before, on a slow evening.
I know you want to know the details of what happens in those bookings, but you will have to let me drip tease those details as they come.
It was a good customer. We laughed, I danced, we talked. And when the night ended, I had made one thousand dollars on my first night back.
What happened next is what shook me.
I did not sleep much. I felt all sorts of energies around me for about three days.
In that time I entered a space beyond the veil. The frequencies felt dark, red, black. I felt shame, as if I had done something wrong.
When I went to see a friend, I did not want her to hug me. I felt dirty and wondered if she would notice.
Of course she hugged me. I shared everything and she held me with curiosity and love.
At the same time I was fully aware.
Fully aware that all I was experiencing was not the truth, was a conditioned story that has been placed upon my sexuality, placed upon money and sex, placed upon my power and eros.
I was aware that I also did not fully honor my boundaries, desires and needs because there was more reclamation to do hence energy leaked.
It brought me back to all the moments in my past when I had not honoured myself in the club or in sexual context, parts of me I had disassociated from.
So I reclaimed them.
I sat with every feeling, every memory.
After three nights I felt clear. As if a part of me had returned.
Did you know that three nights is an initiatory passage in ancient feminine traditions.
A descent, a dying, a remembering.
It is the same rhythm as the three nights of Jesus’ death and rebirth through the cave, and the same sacred timing it takes for the womb to renew her lining during menstruation.
I saw the medicine in going back and realized that the energies I felt were not because of the work and the club itself, but because of my relationship to it.
I felt excited and grateful about the money honey.
And I knew there was more here for me to unravel.
I just did not know when.
